My Favorite Thanksgiving - Miss you, Mom!

My Mom

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Treasure this time with your loved ones!  This is about my mom's last Thanksgiving with us--one of my favorite memories!

Cooking Thanksgiving Day Dinner 
(November 25, 1999)

My mom had been quite ill that month. She was in and out of the hospital but was having a good day. We all knew it meant a lot to her to have a nice Thanksgiving so my dad, me and Gerard (my husband) all decided to pitch in and make it a good day. Mom had made Waldorf salad and the turkey roll was in the oven when Gerard and I arrived. (I thought about bringing the camcorder, but didn’t because I knew mom wouldn’t want me to take her picture. She was always camera shy, especially when she didn‘t think she looked good enough. This was the last time Harry‘s oven was used--as an oven, that is.)

Mom supervised the dinner preparations from her favorite comfortable chair in the living room, telling dad and me what to do next. (I am deficient in cooking unless it’s heating up frozen dinners.) We were going to put the stuffing in the oven next to the turkey roll and the rolls on top, but dad had the cookie sheet with the turkey roll turned the wrong way so he had to spin it around. Then the lid on the stuffing was too high, so dad had to make the rack lower. Mom’s wondering what’s going on because I am laughing by now. Instead of taking the turkey out, dad tried doing it leaving it in and just lifting the rack. The turkey started sliding into the oven! Gerard was back from CVS by then, so he was laughing too. I caught it with the potholders in time before it fell into the oven. Dinner was good.

Mom was feeling good and seemed back to normal like before she went to the hospital, recovering nicely. She ate good too. It was a nice Thanksgiving and, as it turned out, was a very good last memory of our time with mom. I really wish I had brought my camcorder that day!

(Excerpt from the book I wrote:  "My Funny Dad, Harry," pg. 34.)  I shared this in response to Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt to write about a favorite Thanksgiving memory.  

Reposted--Originally posted 11/24/11.

Meet My Dad's Cats

All my dad's cats have gone to "cat heaven" but I still think of them and miss them.

Kittens

Spunky Rooey on top - the one I took in; renamed Spunky Doodle as it grew up.


Razzle Frazzle

Very bushy shy cat who never wanted to come inside.


Sweet Thing aka Whacky

My favorite of dad's cats-very shy, loved to be brushed..

Sylvester

Very affectionate, had feline aids and private room.

Softie

Looked like Blackie, playful little thing and very soft.

Timi

Liked sneaking out but always came back.

Striper (the Entertainer)

Loved to climb and ride on dad's back and got the cat nip out of the kitchen cupboard!  

Really liked the basement!.

Bootsie

Nice cat, only cat who was allowed inside while my mom was still alive--stayed in hallway.

Diamond Jim

All black except a white diamond shape on chest. (actually, this is Timi but don't have good picture of DJ so this is close.

Scruffy

Friendliest and saddest looking cat ever! Always followed me and wanted inside -always hanging out by front door.


Blackie

Dad's Best Friend

I became a cat lover after getting to know my dad's cats.

Oh No! Am I Becoming A Pack Rat Too? (Writer's Workshop)

As I was making the video below, I couldn't help but think about my dad and how much like him I am. It seemed to me he kept everything in case he would need it some day or could fix it up and use it again. Consequently, his garage, basement, attic, and house had a narrow path in which to walk with stuff piled on either side like the Red Sea when God parted the waters for the Israelites to walk across!

Dad's Dining Room

I'm not that bad . . . yet, but my den closet fits that description. So far, it has not spread to other parts of my house. Watch this video of my attempt to clean out my den closet and you will see what I mean:


 

The need for me to have a supply of boxes I think is in my genes. I definitely have inherited that from my dad; however, based on my own experience, it is good to save them so when I have to return an item, I still have the original box. The only difference between my dad and me regarding this is that he kept his boxes in his dining room; whereas, mine are in my closets. Yes, I do mean plural here--I have some in the basement closet too.  (Link: http://youtu.be/YlG6j82rr74)

This is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt: Describe a talent or flaw that seems to be in your genes. You can join in too if you like--there are 5 prompts from which to choose!  I also did the prompt:  "When you first discovered the Internet, what sites did you frequent most?" on my other blog, Right Where We Belong.

The Nativity Project of 1982 With Help From Harry

In 1982, I was renting the upstairs of dad's double house for just $100 a month (which included meals and utilities!) It was a sweet deal and I knew it and was grateful! 

During the time I rented his upstairs, I was youth director at the Brooklyn Christian and Missionary Alliance Church so would have the youth group over for a time of snacking and just hanging out after the Sunday evening service. Usually, we'd have about eight, but when I started the special Christmas project of actually making a Nativity set for the church, we got more kids to come.











I covered my large dining room table with a sheet so we could just paint on that and I could leave it up all week. (I lived alone up there before I even knew Gerard, my husband.) I bought the pieces and the paint, chalk, spray, trays and dad made a stable out of cardboard that the boys could glue wood onto and then stain it. We worked on this about six weeks and then set it up in the church narthex with the intent of using it every year.


Unfortunately, some pieces got lost and broken so I took it back and use it every year at home.  It brings back fond memories of the teens who made it.  I had to replace Mary and the cow and the angel. To see my post with Spunky Doodle helping me set it up this year, go to Spunky Doodle Helps Set Up Nativity Set. Spunky is the Tuxedo cat I got from dad's when it was just 3 months old.



(All these pictures of making the set were scanned in with my new photo scanner I got for my birthday this year.)

This post is a Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt: Show us your Nativity Set.

A Memorable Neighbor Who Scared Us Away (Writer's Workshop)

Growing up, we had a crabby couple on one side of us and my best friend on the other side. There were four of us kids and for some reason, the crabby couple next door didn’t like us. To this day, I really don’t know why. They were both heavyset with gray hair and frowns all the time, but they took great pride in keeping their yard looking nice. They didn’t want anyone walking on their grass so when our ball would accidentally bounce into their backyard, I guess they expected us to just leave it. Well, we walked on their grass to get it but went as quickly as we could. It’s not like we ran all over their yard.

Whenever they found candy wrappers in their yard, they always blamed us even though we never littered like that. Yes, we walked to the corner store often and bought candy and ice cream, but we never threw wrappers on the ground. They would complain to the elderly man across the street about us but his response was to be glad he had a nice family living next to him.

When my mom told me we were going to move, I blew my stack. After all, my best friend lived right next door! This was the only time I really was angry at my parents. I think I was a junior in high school at the time and didn’t understand why my parents would let the crabby neighbors chase us out of our home. My mom explained she saw the man with a rifle in his driveway and was afraid he might shoot one of us or my dad when he came home late from working third shift.

Both my parents had a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ and so I didn’t understand why they couldn’t trust God to protect us or work things out by having the crabby people move. It didn’t seem to me like they were exercising much faith by moving. We moved, but not far. It was only about a 20 min. walk away and at the time, I could make it in just about 5 minutes if I ran. The crabby neighbors also moved away about a year or so after we did.

What would it take for you to move? Was there a time when you got angry at your parents? Did you ever have a crabblepuss for a neighbor?

This is in response to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts: "A Memorable Neighbor" and "What Would It Take For You To Move?"

You can help Canine Lifeline (a dog rescue organization that saved our dog, Abby) by leaving a comment on any of our blogs in March. We will donate 50 cents per comment at the end of the month.


To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here.

A Story of Love (Writer's Workshop)

My Funny Dad, Harry is about love--my love for my dad, his love for me and our family, and ways God’ showed His love for me. My dad was called home to be with our Lord February 16, 2007. I found him dead on the floor of his bathroom with his head against the tub when I stopped by to visit him before work.

At first, I didn’t realize he was dead but couldn’t wake him and called 911. He was a very loving family man, a great dad who was always there for me and I felt so sad that he was gone but happy that he didn’t suffer long and was able to live independently and die in his own home like he wanted. I just wish he didn’t die alone.

I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t sleep through the nights. There was so many things that needed to be done and I am the type person that likes to get everything on my “To Do List” done each day. That just wasn’t going to happen for a very long time. Many wonderful memories came to me during the nights following his death and I got the idea to write a book in his memory because he was such a wonderful father. I knew there were a lot of books written about abuse, domestic violence and sad tales and thought perhaps the world would like to read about a happy family for a change. After all, “Marley & Me” was a big hit and that was about a funny dog.

I began writing “My Funny Dad, Harry” and remember feeling like it was something God wanted me to do. It was fun writing and although I had no idea how to get a book published, I just trusted God to lead me—he did. One Sunday there was a big snowstorm and church was canceled. I went on the computer to see if I could find out how to publish a book, was going to go on an author’s website where I thought I might find some advice and instead up came Outskirts Press, a self-publishing company in Colorado. To this day I cannot explain how it came up. I never heard of it before but there it was with several packages to choose from and an offer of a representative to walk me through every step of the way. I started writing my book the end of February 2007 and it was published October of 2007.

I still miss my dad very much but know I’ll see him again and hopefully because of this book, others will get to meet him too. I included God’s plan of salvation in an appendix.

This is in response to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop prompt: A Story of Love.

You can help Canine Lifeline (a dog rescue organization that saved our dog, Abby) by leaving a comment on any of our blogs in March. We will donate 50 cents per comment at the end of the month.

(“My Funny Dad, Harry” is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.)

Please, Keep Your Hands Off My Stuff!

Harry's dining room table after mom died.

My dad used to always keep a stack of stuff on the dining room table by his place and didn’t want anyone touching it or moving it anywhere else. This was one of the things that used to upset my mom. My dad had a lot of stuff in the basement, in the back room, and in the garage. It looked like a big mess with a lot of clutter everywhere, yet, he knew where everything was.  He liked things handy. I’m like him in this respect.

I generally have a place for all my things and know where they are. That is until my husband moves something without telling me which really irritates me. I like knowing where everything is! Why can’t he leave my things alone? He likes moving his stuff around all the time from one place to another. An example is his book holder that sits on a desk or table (one of the many things Harry made). I think it’s funny that he can’t pick one place and just leave it there. I have no problem when he rearranges his things or even the furniture in the basement that we consider to be his man cave, but he needs to leave my things alone, don’t you agree?

This morning I found my evening pill bottle moved to a different shelf. Now I have it placed exactly where I need it to be so I remember to take it in the evening every other day. My morning pills are on the far left side and my evening pill on the far right.

I read somewhere that it’s good to change things around to help prevent Alzheimer’s from setting in. I’m afraid I am headed for it but since my dad didn’t have it and I take after him, I’m hoping I don’t get it either. Maybe my husband is trying to challenge my mind more.

What about you? Are you particular about your things? Who are you more like—me and my dad or my husband who likes to change things around? Does it make you nuts when people move your things?

You can help Canine Lifeline (a dog rescue organization that saved our dog, Abby) by leaving a comment on any of our blogs in March. We will donate 50 cents per comment at the end of the month.

I linked this post up to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop for the prompt:  Something you do that drives your significant other CRAZY.  How do you make your significant other crazy?

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here. Tweet This

What Makes You Mad, And What Are You Going To Do About It? (Writer’s Workshop)

The short answer is spam on my blog by Anonymous makes me mad.  I’m going to change the comments to not allow anonymous ones anymore.  That’s what I’m going to do about it besides confronting Anonymous here.

The long answer is:

Anonymous is my top commenter.

I don’t know why but someone must hate me.  EVERY SINGLE DAY I get spam comments from Anonymous on this blog.  Actually, I don’t think they are all from the same person because they vary.  Yes, I admit it.  This makes me mad.  Even though my comments are moderated, Anonymous still spams me every day on old posts that don’t even remotely relate to the comment.  It’s not as though they actually get on the blog.

I don’t know if this person likes wasting their time doing this or has devised some way to have it done automatically.  I do not like taking the time to have to mark it as spam and delete them every day.  My time is very precious to me and I like to be productive and use it effectively.  Some comments aren’t even in English so I have no idea what they even say. 

One Memory I Wish Would Disappear (Writer’s Workshop)

I went to dad’s one February Friday,
Just like any other work day.
This horrible day the door was still locked.
The lights were off and the paper was still on the porch.

Why, oh why?

I used my key to go in the upstairs door.
The downstairs lock was broke so the key wouldn’t work.
That’s why dad always opened it for me from the inside with his letter opener.
I noticed the cats were laying quietly, no greeting from them today.

Why, oh why?

Uh oh, something is wrong, did dad over sleep?
I hope he’s okay and did not die yet, he is 89.
I hurry downstairs and call out to him. . . . silence.

Why, oh why?

He’s not in the kitchen, or the dining room or the living room either.
I look some more and find him in the bathroom,
On the floor against the tub,
Naked. His legs are dark purple!

Why, oh why?

He’s not waking up, I’m scared he’s dead.
I try to find a pulse but can’t, his chest isn’t moving!
I call 9-1-1.
They tell me to get him flat on the floor to do CPR.
I can’t, he will not budge.

Why, oh why couldn’t he just die in his sleep in the chair?

Related Post: The Day Dad Died God Gave Me Special Cat Time

This is in response to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt: Write a poem about a memory you sometimes wish would disappear.

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here. Tweet This

You May Be Surprised (writer’s workshop)

People would be surprised to learn that my dad did not graduate high school even though he was one to follow the rules and wasn’t lazy or stupid. Harry was never a follower or a leader. He was his own person with just a couple close friends. Harry minded his own business and had strong convictions and a strong will which could be seen as stubbornness. On more than one occasion I called him a “stubborn old man” usually under my breath so he couldn’t hear me. He did not just become stubborn in his old age though; he had a lot of practice. Harry never graduated high school because he refused to give an oral book report. Apparently, his English teacher also had a stubborn streak and did not give him an alternative. Granted, you could argue that he was stupid then but Harry loved to learn things, just not fiction. He had no use for it and in his mind, it was a waste of time. Nor was he an outgoing person so getting in front of a class and talking was probably just too scary for him. I’ll never know for sure because it was my mom who told me this, not him.

This post is in response to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop prompt: People would be surprised to learn that . . . .

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here. Tweet This

Where Did I Put That Letter Opener? (Writer's Workshop)

Harry also spent a lot of his time looking for things he misplaced. One day, he told me "I can't find the letter opener so I am using scissors to lock the door." (Since his door lock broke and he was still in the process of fixing it himself, he used the letter opener to lock it.) I spent the whole time there before work helping him look for it, but I couldn't find it anywhere either. Later that day, I got a call from dad at work saying, "Hello, Karen, this is dad. I just wanted to call to let you know I found the letter opener under my pillow." We both laughed at that, wondering how in the world it landed there. At least he found it!

Head on over to Red Pine Mountain to enter her giveaway for an autographed copy of my book, "My Funny Dad, Harry."  Contest drawing is June 9 and all you need to do is leave a comment on that post to enter.

This is an excerpt from "My Funny Dad, Harry" which I posted in response to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt:  “What did you once lose? Write about your search to find it again.”

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here.
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5 Products My Dad Used In His Old Age (Writer's Workshop)

Five products my dad used were a weekly pill box, a magnifying glass, a grabber gadget, a very cool walker and a wheelchair that his favorite cat, Blackie, liked riding on.

Weekly Pill Box --This kept him organized enough to take his pills. He had quite a few to keep track of and with his memory going, sometimes he couldn't remember if he took his pill or not. Don't laugh, I've had this on occasion too. He would put them all in the three weekly pill boxes he used--morning, noon, evening. It was a good system that worked for him.

Magnifying Glass--Since Harry didn't go to the Optometrist regularly, he couldn't see very well so he used a magnifying glass all the time. I must admit, however, that his instructions that came with his diabetes gadget and his watch and clocks had such tiny print that even I couldn't read them without a magnifying Glass. When I was showing him how to use the computer, he needed a magnifying Glass to read everything unless it was 14pt or bigger! He even had a special one for reading books or the paper. It was flat on one side and curved on the other and about 8 inches long so he could just slide it right down the page. Why spend money on eyeglasses when he could see just fine with his magnifying glasses.

Don't Ever Go On A Plane! (Writer's Workshop)

Harry was always very cautious. He never liked to drive fast so would avoid the Interstate highways if he could and always said that planes were dangerous. He was not only fearful of flying but felt like no one else should ever fly anywhere either. He always pointed out the plane crashes saying "See, planes are dangerous!" Although I would tell him that there are more car accidents than plane crashes, he was not persuaded that planes were safe and stuck to his belief that people shouldn't fly.

When my sister went on a plane to Hawaii, my dad was very nervous about her flying and told me to NEVER go on a plane. Since I had no plans or inclination to go traveling anywhere, it didn't bother me. I thought I would spare him the worry and not fly during his lifetime and just said okay.

My Earliest Memory--A Mouse In the House!

Kathy at The Junk Drawer had a post "What Was Your Very First Memory" which I commented on and thought it might be good to post about it here.

We used to live in Garrettsville. This is a picture of our first house that my mom and dad worked together on building. As you can see, it was pretty much in the boonies with just open field all around.

I don’t remember much before I started school but I do remember this because I was afraid my mom was going to land on me and squish me! (She was not a small person.) I must have been 4 years old sitting on the couch one night. All of a sudden, my mom screamed really, really LOUD and jumped on top of the couch right next to me!

She saw a mouse in our house! She was terrified of the cute little things and told my dad, she couldn't live there anymore. She can't live with mice in the house. Harry, being the loving husband that he was, put the house up for sale and we moved to Parma (a suburb of Cleveland). Here is a slide he took of mom and me at out new home playing a word game also dated 1958. I've always enjoyed playing games, all kinds. This is probably why--she started me early.

I found this slide which was taken after the house was sold and dated 1958. Harry was great at labeling things and a very detailed person which sometimes got on my nerves, especially when he'd explain things like I was a 2-yr.-old sometimes. Anyhow, because he dated that slide, I am able to figure out how old I was at the time. The one of my mom and me he listed both our full names as well as described the type of game we were playing. I'm glad he did now even though it may have seemed silly at the time.

Tip: Always label the back of your pictures with names and dates. Years later, it helps bring more meaning to the people who find them.

One of Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop prompts this week is: Explain a time there was an emergency. What “mode” did you go into? Freaking out, calm and collected, etc. I modified it a bit by sharing about my mom freaking out in what she considered to be an emergency.

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here.
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Best Advice I Ever Got From My Dad (Writer’s Workshop)

The best advice I ever got from my dad was to “Always pay off your credit cards every month. Don’t spend more than what you can pay off each month and save as much as you can.”

I am glad I listened to my dad and had enough wisdom to follow this advice on this! The only time I spent more than I had and borrowed money to do it was when Gerard and I bought a house after we were married. Even then though, it really bothered me that I had a house payment every month and we paid more than necessary each month to get it paid off faster. Gerard still had car payments when we got married, but once that car was finally all paid for, we never had a car payment since.

It is very tempting to blow money on things we don’t really need but it is not a wise thing to do. It’s always good to be prepared for unexpected expenses such as repairs, home improvements, medical bills and costly prescriptions. For years I have arranged for my bank to automatically transfer a certain amount from our checking account to our savings account each month. This way, money gets into savings each month.

When my dad retired, he did not work part-time as some people do. He lived on his Social Security check, a pension and his savings which served him well. However, the last few years of his life he was worried his money may run out before he died because he was spending more than he was getting in. It was during these years that he told me to “save as much as you can.” What I found funny was how he would still buy extra stuff. He always wanted plenty of tools and supplies on hand: scissors in every room, a thermometer in every room, an electric heater for every room, piles of post-its and flashlights all over his house too. It looked like a store!

What do you think of this advice? What good advice have your received?

This post was inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop where you can find more.

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here.
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10 Things To Stave Off Boredom (Writer's Workshop)

Even though Harry was retired and home most of the time, he always told me he was never bored whenever I would mention it. I guess because when he reached old age (70s, 80s) it took him longer to do things so it seemed he was always busy with a lot to do. Here is a list of ten things he used to do that kept him from being bored:

10. Eat. (It was always quite a production for him.)

9. Write a letter or make a phone call. (Phone calls always were time consuming because he was hard of hearing and letters would take forever because he had arthritis in his fingers and sometimes a lack of feeling so he wrote very slowly. Once he wrote to President Bush with a suggestion for solving the high cost of fuel.)

8. Read the newspaper. (This often took him an hour or two because he'd fall asleep while doing it.)

7. Go shopping to stock up on things you might need some day--walk instead of drive. (This could take up an entire morning or afternoon.)

6. Cut the grass. (Again, he walked very slowly so it took him long to do. He usually only did half the backyard at a time.)

5. Pay some bills. (This took long because again with the writing but also had to find them first! Sometimes he wouldn't get to his mail every day and it would pile up. He always managed to date the envelope though with the date he received it.)

4. Index those magazines and file them away. (He had piles of magazines sitting around his dining room and living room because he had to get them indexed before he could file them or toss them out. He had shelves filled with Consumer Reports and could quickly go to the one he needed because he had them all indexed.)

3. Make some scratch paper. (He always saved his junk mail and then cut it up and used the back for scratch pads by clipping the separate sheets together with a big binder clip.) See post about this and picture: Even Junk Mail Has A Purpose

2. Feed the stray cats and clean the litter boxes for your indoor cats. (Every day he put out food and water for the stray cats in the neighborhood. His porch was a real mess though because not only did the cats eat the food, but so did the birds and they pooped all over the place! In the winter, this really took long because he bundled up in is snow suit first to keep warm--this took him at least 15 minutes to get in and out of.)

1. Fix something or make something. (This was his favorite thing to do, but often ran out of time.)

Are you ever bored? How do you fight off boredom?

This is in response to the prompt: "Write A List Of 10 Things To Stave Off Boredom" from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here.
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You Want Me To Read About SNAKES? (Writer's Workshop)

I had many books as a kid and enjoyed seeing them again when clearing out my dad’s house after he died. My mom enrolled me in a Children’s book club because she wanted me to like reading and encouraged me to enjoy books. I had a green bookcase, built by dad of course, filled with books but when asked what I would like read I would choose the snake section in The Book of Knowledge. I liked snakes back then but more than that I loved seeing my parents cringe when I’d ask them to read about the different snakes. Although it wasn’t really a children’s book, it certainly was the one my parents hated reading to me the most!

Even today I find snakes fascinating to watch at the zoo when they’re on the go. This is a picture of a Python that I took while curled up on top of a fake elephant's head. I wouldn’t want one in my house though.

Is there something your child likes that makes you cringe? What book do you remember your parents reading to you?

This post is part of Mama Kat’s Workshop: What Children’s book do you hate reading to your child? Go check out more posts there or participate yourself.

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here.
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Visiting Dad Is Fun! (Writer's Workshop)

Visiting dad was funny because he fell asleep so easily! Sometimes when visiting, we would bring along Leo, our stuffed lion, just for fun. By this time dad usually fell asleep if he sat down for any length of time. One time he fell asleep while shaving! He did it sitting in the living room. He’d fall asleep while he ate. Sometimes he fell asleep while petting Sylvester, his cat. He always fell asleep when reading the newspaper. Sometimes he even dozed off while we were visiting him. Gerard would put Leo on his lap and he didn’t even know it!

This was a Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt: Write a story using exactly 101 words.

To find out more about my book and why I wrote it, read the Foreword here. This is one of the stories I included in the book.
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